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To Mewp, or Not To Mewp...

by Zach

Hi folks, thought I might as well put together something quick for the contest even though the nearest Barnes and Noble is probably 5000 miles away. I'm not sure if this was exactly what Phaedrus was looking for, but it does fit the first story description :) Thank you to the person and animals that inspired this (you'll know who you are when you read it!)

Please note, all characters depictions and events in this tale are purely fictional and any resemblence to any real person living or dead is purely coincidental :)

Enjoy,
Zach.


To mewp, or not to mewp - by Zach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leaves rustled. Stems wavered. A small form pushed its way quickly through the undergrowth leaving a trail of quivering greenery in its wake.

"Well?"

"I dunno, Reggie, it looks clear but you never can tell with these human types. They seem to have an innate ability to appear from nowhere."

"Now you're just getting paranoid. It's not like we're doing anything illegal, like taking over the world or something. We're just going to have a little mewp at the long black thingy."

"Yeah, but Reggie, I heard stories. Them humans, they don't like our kind mewping their stuff. What if we get caught?"

"My dear Neville, don't worry, we're well protected, remember it's a full moon tonight, so if trouble rears its ugly head we'll just wing it. Besides, its not even in the building, not like he really owns it, is it?"

"Okay Reggie, maybe a little. The ringtail brothers told me and the boys it was like mewping nothing else."

"Exactly, there's nothing to worry about. You don't want to be the only one who hasn't tried it do you?"

"I suppose not. But Davy said he didn't swallow."

"And we all know what Davy's like. Come on, the sooner we start the sooner we can sample the delights of the long black thingy. You're sure you checked right around the perimeter and it's all clear."

"Yeah."

"Great, then let's go."

The two small, furry forms scampered across the great open expanse of the lawn, using the occasional longer clump of grass as cover as best they could. Finally, they reached their goal.

"Gee, Reggie, it is long."

"Yeah, well, it's aptly named then. Dig in."

"You first."

"Jeez, Neville, don't panic, there's no one for miles, chill out, relax, enjoy yourself. This is as good as it gets."

A watchful observer might have just seen two fluffy, grey tails sticking up out of the foliage, their owners totally oblivious to the rest of the world.

"It's good, huh?"

"Chmmmph. The best Reggie, I'm glad we came. I haven't had mewp like this in as long as I can remember."

"Me neither, and I've known some good mewping grounds in my time."

"Hey, try this bit, it's more used, has a slightly different flavour."

"Mmm. Not bad. I wonder what it's really for."

"Maybe it was put here by god, just for us."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't pass that theory on Neville, people might start to talk."

"People already talk, Reggie."

"True. Talk more then."

"Hey, you hear something?"

"Nah. Relax we're all alone."

"There it is again."

"Oh, shit. I did hear that. Someone's coming. Run for it."

"Where? There's nowhere to go! What'll we do Reggie, we're doomed!"

"Calm down, I'm thinking. Okay, I know, shift to human form."

"Here? What if someone sees?"

"Like we have a choice? Just do it!"


Brian cursed as his phone line went dead yet again.

"I do not believe it!" He exclaimed. "That's it, those damn squirrels are for it this time!"

Getting up he stormed out of the door, grabbing the nearest long heavy thing on his way. On arriving outside, he was startled to find two men standing next to his phone cable.

"Er, can I help you?" he asked, somewhat confused.

"Hello, er, sir. We're sorry we disturbed you we were just, um, checking things." Replied the short one on the left.

"Checking what exactly?"

"The long black thingy," offered the slightly dopey looking tall one on the right. At this he received a sharp elbow in the ribs from the short one.

"What my colleague means is that we were checking the, er..."

"The phone cable?" Suggested Brian.

"... The phone cable, yes!" Finished the man, triumphantly. "You see, we're from the company, er, the phone cable company." Reggie was on a roll now. "We heard some reports of some serious mewping going on in this area and thought we should check it out."

"Mewping?"

"Yes, er, mewping." He indicated the frayed wire.

"You mean the chewing by those damn squirrels?"

"Chewing! Yes, of course, chewing."

Brian gave the odd men a suspicious look. "And so, now what?"

"Well, now we've confirmed our worst fears."

"It's hardly nuclear war."

"Er, no. Only just got rid of the old one. Haha. The clear war, I mean. Um. Yes, as I was saying, now we've confirmed out reports, we can go back and do something about it. Come on Neville." The two men made to leave.

"So you can replace the cable?" asked Brian.

"The cable?"

"The phone cable. That is why you are here isn't it?"

"Oh, yes the phone cable, no problem, it'll be sorted out."

"Thank you."

"Our pleasure," shouted back the short man as the two figures dashed off.

"Yes, thank you Mr. Human." Yelled the dopey one, only to receive another nudge in the ribs from his partner.

Mr. Human thought Brian. An odd thought occurred to him. He stared after the rapidly vanishing figures for a few seconds. "Nah. Too much imagination, that's my problem." Smiling, he returned indoors to find something safe to do, like reading a book.


Copyright 1997: Zach <zach@spods.dcs.kcl.ac.uk> . If you want to post this anywhere else, please ask the author for permission first.       Thank you


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